HA131A | Voice | Day 23

[clowngirl]

[Really? A walkie-talkie? Luckily for all involved, Harley knows exactly how these work thanks to years of overhearing police radios and watching a little movie called Smokey and the Bandit.]

Breaker! Breaker! Eggs and baker!

This is Burt Reynold's Moustache comin' in with a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and requestin' a 10-20 on myself. We got some sorta 10-15, 5150 situation goin' on with a negatory on 420-69. Is this a good kidnappin' or a bad kidnappin'? I repeat, good kidnap-slash-bad kidnap-question mark.

Smooches. Seacrest out! Over!

Comments

BT612L; voice

[ichoosefight]

[ That is. A lot. But the question first and foremost on Steph's mind is: ]

...Did you just call Ryan Seacrest 'Burt Reynold's Moustache'?

[clowngirl]

Pfft. He wishes!

I'll fight for the handle if somebody else's already taken it.

Over!

[ichoosefight]

[ Okay, so she's just... being weird. Alright. ]

Nobody really has handles. Or if they do, they haven't spoken up about it.

Anyway, as kidnappings go, I'd rate this 'not great'. We all just sort of woke up here. And there's not really a whole lot of 'here'.

[clowngirl]

Gotcha. One vote for "room for improvement" and "assign everyone handles".

How many folks are we talkin' 'bout here? If this is more than a single kidnapper/kidnappee situation, I'm kinda lookin' for somebody.

[ichoosefight]

Like... 20? It's been a pretty mixed bag, but who are you looking for?

[clowngirl]

Okay! So he's beautiful, like a former boyband member. But in a scruffy way, like his solo career hasn't worked out like he hoped. With sad eyes like the reason for this hypothetical catastrophe was that he lost his puppydog.

He also has a thousand abs and is my boyfriend.

AP251C | voice

[desperate_times_right]

Sounds like a 10-30 to me.

Conditional yes on the 420, and as for 69? Follow your dreams.

Is there a good kidnapping?

[clowngirl]

Good to know!

And there's toooooons of ways a kidnappin' could be good or fun or even romantic. Is this your first time?

[desperate_times_right]

Not even the first time I woke up on a beach not knowing how I got there.

Never had a fun one, but this one at least doesn't have monologuing.

[clowngirl]

Oh my gosh villainous monologuing is the absolute worst. I would have chucked this radio into the ocean if I had to listen to one more guy inexplicably reveal his entire master plan while pouring out his clichéd and misguided reasoning based in untreated and unrelated psychological trauma.

[desperate_times_right]

Right?

“Blah blah I hate peasants.” Come on, dude, I don't think you'd blow them up if you liked them.

We haven't heard anything from whoever dropped us here at all.

[clowngirl]

Well, I hope they're still listenin' and takin' notes for the big reveal.

You wouldn't happen to keep a shorter list of people you ticked off than I do, wouldja? Help us zero in on the whodunnit?

audio | DI481O

[salamanca]

Yeaaaah... I mean, for my money, the big problem with monologuing is that it can be used against you in court! Any cop worth his salt's gonna be wearing a wire. You go off about your parents didn't love you blah blah blah blah [ you can HEAR the eyeroll ] next thing you know you're in gen pop with a shiv in your ribs.

[ A beat. ]

A cop, which is what I am. I'm a cop. Name's Ben! Here to protect and serve. At your service!

[ We're, like, not even fucking trying at this point, are we? ]

[clowngirl]

Hiya Cop Ben the Cop! [She has no idea what this guy is doing but she's cheerfully all in.] Don't forget to clearly state your rank and badge number for your buddies in the only unmarked van on the island! I'm Harley, and I would like to state for any possible records that this does not technically violate my parole.

Also, c'mon, a shiv in gen pop? Don't be a baby. You plead insanity and then if the nutbar serial killer with a knife fetish gets cranky, you break his face durin' arts and crafts.

audio | KD201D

[obeir]

[ Between the rescue mission that never ends, a raging storm trapping him in jail for several days solid with increasingly unhinged humans, a giantass bird statue falling on him, and of course the physiological changes wrought by the island that have left him bizarrely weakened... it's all finally catching up to him. His voice is hoarse with exhaustion when he replies, but with a distinct note of pleased surprise. ]

Harley? This place got you too? [ Objectively it's not exactly a good thing, Harley being stranded here now too, but: ] I'm choosing to take this as a sign that we're unequivocally meant to be together.

[ How romantic! Silver linings and all. ]

[clowngirl]

K! [It may be one letter, but it's said with an excited squeal. There is just one thing that temporarily pumps the breaks as she notices his callsign.] Wait, did they give you a new number? If you're not my K, you hafta tell me. I dunno if that's an android thing or a cop thing or just a thing I saw on TV but it's gotta be true. This could be one of those weird clone islands like that movie with that guy in it and I wanna unequivocally be with the right guy.

[And this is why she votes for cheesy handles.]

[obeir]

If I wasn't your K, how would I know you?

[ Since they're not originally from the same universe. This warrants serious consideration, and he's quiet for a moment as he performs some mental calculations. He's thinking less clones, and more multiversal possibilities. ] Unless all our alternate universe selves are also together? [ It's probably more likely than you'd think. ]

Oh, and this is just the callsign assigned to my radio, I didn't choose it. I haven't figured out how to change it. It's a bit on the nose, isn't it.

[clowngirl]

Aww, imagine a whole bunch of alternate multiversal us runnin' around and gettin' together. Now that would be an even bigger sign we were meant to be.

[She is definitely picturing for herself a sea of Ks and Harleys holding hands in various outfits and hairstyles although nothing quite that pink comes to mind. Romantic notions are a good distraction from falling into a rabbit-hole of wondering if maybe she is/also is a clone/alternate version of herself. Much better than serious consideration.]

So just a callsign, huh? That's a coinky-dink. Easy to remember though. Guess we're good to keep each other! [Her voice is warm. Considering it was very much the desired outcome, she really didn't need a lot convincing.] Are you okay, baby? You don't sound so good...

[obeir]

Hope none of them have to deal with vacation interruptus like this. [ Yes, focus on the romance, don't think about anything likely to cause an existential crisis. For K's part, he's endured enough of those to last him several lifetimes. As for her question, it's actually weirdly complicated to answer. ]

I'm fine. I've been stuck here a few weeks already.

This place has changed a few of us — prevailing theory's that it brings everyone to a regular human baseline. Me included. Can't access any of my abilities from the Meadous, I'm weaker than I should be and unusually tired a lot. And you just missed a huge thunderstorm that lasted several days. All of this is to say, I think... maybe I'm getting my first robo-cold...

[ Which is utterly bizarre for someone who's never experienced physical illness before (the closest being those psychosomatic headaches). But it could explain how poorly he's been feeling. ]

Did you just wake up? What's it look like where you are? If you see a cabin anywhere, steer clear of it. The owner's a real nudnik, [ —between Harley and Alfie, he's picked up quite a bit of Yiddish at this point, ] likes shooting us if we get too close.

[clowngirl]

Poor sweetie-pie! [One can hear the pout in her voice. Honestly, she'd be happier to focus on this unprecedented opportunity to play nurse and dote all over him but that tiny problem of not knowing where either of them are right now begrudgingly keeps her from devolving into medical questions and baby-talk. A quick hold on that, she hopes.]

Yeah, I woke up on the beach a li'l while ago. I can see the thunderstorm's been through, place is a wreck. You've really been here weeks without me? Where are you?

[She tries to make a mental note about the cabin but she's mostly just tickled about the added bit of Yiddish.]

voice; SH442K

[sharktrash]

[ The what with a what requesting the what?? Why does this sound like something from a poorly researched cop show? Why is it fucking funny? ]

420-69 negatory? Sounds like a bad kidnapping, Foxtrot. Secure the pineapples and wait for backup. Over.

[clowngirl]

That's not the least of our problems, Slow Waltz. There are NO pineapples. I repeat, no-- Oh. Well...

[A break and therefore some quick static as she checks something.]

I guess they're more like oranges? Grapefruit? [It's hard to gauge without the right props and depends on the bra, really.] They are secure though! Over!

[sharktrash]

[ Harley those are not the pineapples he was talking about ]

[ Yeah he's kinda breaking character to laugh. ]

Shit. Kidnapped and no pineapples, that's a fuckin' tragedy right there.

[ Clearing his throat and trying for a more serious voice again; ]

You're taking this really well, Tango Waffle. Previous experience with 1-90? Over.

[clowngirl]

Roger that. You know what they say, Polka Party, if I had a nickel every time I woke up somewhere new I'd be able to melt them down and make a fortune in counterfeit quarters.

[That is of course, nothing anybody has ever said ever.]

[sharktrash]

[ ??? ]

[ He thinks he gets the idea, but also what the fuck is that money. ]

...so how often have you woken up on an uninhabited island with no Internet or cocktail bar? Got any tips?