HA131A | Voice | Day 23

[clowngirl]

[Really? A walkie-talkie? Luckily for all involved, Harley knows exactly how these work thanks to years of overhearing police radios and watching a little movie called Smokey and the Bandit.]

Breaker! Breaker! Eggs and baker!

This is Burt Reynold's Moustache comin' in with a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and requestin' a 10-20 on myself. We got some sorta 10-15, 5150 situation goin' on with a negatory on 420-69. Is this a good kidnappin' or a bad kidnappin'? I repeat, good kidnap-slash-bad kidnap-question mark.

Smooches. Seacrest out! Over!

Comments

[ichoosefight]

Um.

[ Yeah, that is also A Lot. ]

Does he have a name?

[clowngirl]

An initial, which is really as much as anybody needs in my experience. It's a K!

Does that narrow it down yet? You want his shoe size?

[ichoosefight]

[ ... ]

[ ...... ]

...Are you doing this on purpose?

[clowngirl]

Do what?

How have we not narrowed it down yet? Do they film The Bachelorette here?

[ichoosefight]

[ So it's either intentional or oblivious. Either way, probably not worth the trouble. ]

I don't think I've seen anyone boyband-worthy, sorry. Can I get your name? I'm Steph.

[clowngirl]

Bummer for both of us.

I'm Harley Quinn! Pleasedta meetcha. Your zany new handle will be assigned in 2-4 business days if we don't get outta here first.

[ichoosefight]

[ Oh. Oh no. This is... bad? Weird? Definitely weird. Not good, but Harley by herself isn't especially murderous as Steph recalls. She needs to say something before the silence becomes noticable. ]

Well, it's been twenty.... three days for me, so I wouldn't get your hopes up.

[clowngirl]

Okay, that's a li'l long for somebody who didn't pack her sunscreen. Boy, will my face be red.

I was hopin' to spend more time in Gotham before my next vacay, too.

[ichoosefight]

[ Damn, she mentioned Gotham specifically. Act surprised, Steph! ]

Wait, you're from Gotham? Like, 'Batman' Gotham? 'Superheroes aren't fictional' Gotham?

[ Maybe if she says it loud it enough everyone who's thought she was crazy or obsessed will listen, and then shut up. ]

[clowngirl]

Is there another kinda Gotham? Wait, don't answer that. If there's an alternate universe where Batman is a bus driver and I'm just his tax accountant, I don't even wanna know.

[ichoosefight]

God, I hope not.

[ One Gotham is enough for the multiverse. Unless the other Gothams are really nice... in which case, she'd probably be mad. So no, she doesn't wanna know either. ]

It's just that I haven't spoken to a single person here who has superheroes in their world. Apparently aliens are perfectly fine, but masked crime fighters are some kind of childish fantasy?

[clowngirl]

Didja tell 'em about the aliens who are superheroes?

[She doesn't know if that'd make it better or worse, but maybe it'd blow their minds.]

[ichoosefight]

That was the only reason I brought up superheroes at all. I think "public knowledge of intelligent life on other planets", I think Superman. Apparently it's the main difference between my world and everyone else's.

Heads up, people can be pretty rude about it.

[desperate_times_right]

Kind of rich coming from the kiddo who threatened to break my wrist in our first conversation~!

[ichoosefight]

I mentioned illegal underground fighting rings and you started planning my murder.

[clowngirl]

Okay, I dunno what this is but you ladies are fun!

[ichoosefight]

[ ... ]

...Thanks?

[desperate_times_right]

Well! It's not an underground kitten petting ring, is it? Underground friendship bracelet braiding seminar.

[ichoosefight]

If it was, would you have--

[ She pauses. ]

Nope, nevermind, not finishing that sentence. Taking either of those things to their negative extreme is gross.

[desperate_times_right]

I assure you, I would have braided you a very nice friendship bracelet.

[clowngirl]

Fight clubs and friendship bracelets do not have to be mutually exclusive.

[clowngirl]

Aw, that's sweet but I'm pretty usedta people thinkin' I'm nuttier than a squirrel farm.

[ichoosefight]

[ Right... that tracks. ]

Well, feel free to call them out on it, if only for my own vindication.

[clowngirl]

I'll tell everybody you're entirely sane. About this. If you want a full clean bill of mental health then I'm also willin' to give you a Gothamite discount on psycho-therapy.

[ichoosefight]

Um.

[ Damn, she is making it hard for Steph to feign ignorance. ]

Actually I was just thinking you could tell them they're a jerk. If they're being a jerk. You know. That sort of thing.