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HA131A | Voice | Day 23

[Really? A walkie-talkie? Luckily for all involved, Harley knows exactly how these work thanks to years of overhearing police radios and watching a little movie called Smokey and the Bandit.]

Breaker! Breaker! Eggs and baker!

This is Burt Reynold's Moustache comin' in with a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and requestin' a 10-20 on myself. We got some sorta 10-15, 5150 situation goin' on with a negatory on 420-69. Is this a good kidnappin' or a bad kidnappin'? I repeat, good kidnap-slash-bad kidnap-question mark.

Smooches. Seacrest out! Over!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Dryly: ]

You shouldn't kill people. It's illegal.

I didn't say I killed them, I said they're dead!

[Harry LITERALLY blew up on his own]

[ The radio briefly cuts out while Lalo laughs to himself. ]

Of course, of course! My mistake. How cruel of me to accuse you!

[ ;) ]

How cruel indeed! But so like a policeman.

[ Dramatic sigh! ]

It's sad but true!!! We do that. Make false accusations.

[ He may or may not be looking smugly at Rust right now. ]

Edited 2023-08-25 05:31 (UTC)

Yeah, it happens all the time. What's the world coming to, huh?

Who can say! It's a tragedy.

PRIVATE TO CHLOE:

[ pretend this is sent to Chloe's private inbox b/c I'm lazy: ]

How're you holding up? Better, now that the storm's over?

Edited 2023-08-25 22:57 (UTC)

Yeah, I think we’re almost at the nerd base. Might be able to walk a bit on my own tomorrow.

Kinda losing my shit though. The cat talked to me.

Edited 2023-08-25 23:42 (UTC)

The cat talked to you?

I don't think you're losing it. We've got a Viking and a shapeshifter. Or people who say they are, anyway. Talking cat doesn't seem so farfetched.

Yeah, K says he's a robot too but he doesn't DO anything. This cat talked to me and he's like, super strong for some reason?

Edited 2023-08-26 00:43 (UTC)

Talked to you? What the fuck did he say? You know, he batted my nose back when The Detective and I came to help you guys. It felt pretty hard. Like if someone hit you with two knuckles. I thought then he wasn't a normal cat. That, or I was real drunk. Guess now we know the answer, eh?

[ In truth, Lalo was drunk, but not that drunk. But he had said nothing, because... frankly, who gives a shit? With the weird animals and shapeshifters and androids here, a slightly-stronger-than-normal cat hadn't seemed that odd by comparison. A talking cat, though, now that's really something! How exciting. ]

Edited 2023-08-27 03:53 (UTC)

Remember how when you guys were there he kept sniffing stuff and screaming for no reason? He says his senses of smell and sight aren't working right.

Also a bunch of shit about the stars and hanging out with gods, and he asked me how my flashlight works.

He said he won't wear a shirt :(

Yeah. I thought he was just being a cat. [ Cats, in Lalo's admittedly limited experience with them, frequently scream for no reason. ] Not working right? What, like he's blind now? Didn't seem blind when he was hitting me in the face. Hanging out with gods? I suppose. If he's a talking cat, who am I to question that at this point? Dios mio! This shit is crazy. So did you show him? About the flashlight? Good for him. Tell him Ben says atta boy. ;D

Edited 2023-08-27 04:08 (UTC)

He can see but not like a cat, so he can't see in the dark anymore.

Yeah I showed him the flashlight but I don't know what the fuck a diode is so I don't know how much it helped.

I see how it is. Siding with a guy who hit you in the face over me. >:[ He would look so cute.

Weird. Must be upsetting for him. A what-ode? Don't fucking look at me. [ Something does occur to him though. ] Chloe, can I tell you a secret? Hey, how would you like it if somebody twice YOUR size was trying to dress you up in goofy outfits?

Yeah. Seems like he's human level, you know? Human senses but human strength too.

Yeah, that's what the ʼDʼ in LED is.

A secret? If you think I'll keep it, sure.

Every time someone twice my size puts me in an outfit it's expensive.

Weird. Proof Zam and K are telling the truth? About being "made human". Did he tell you what the 'L' and the 'E' stand for? You know what, forget it. I just realized I don't care. I think I can trust you, Chloe. Don't prove me wrong! ;)

[ There's a delay in the response of the messages. Mostly because Lalo is aware that what he saying is true, it might make him look ~~more~~ insane. ]

I think the cat has a walkie talkie. I know that sounds crazy. But I found one with the callsign ME000W after The Detective and I left the rest of you. As it should be, naturally! You deserve the best.

Edited 2023-08-28 01:46 (UTC)

K has been kinda pathetic about getting a cold but I don't know if that's because he's usually a robot or not.

Yeah, he said he had a radio but he left it behind cause he couldn't pick it up. You guys still have it?

[She had told him she’d ask even though he didn't really seem to care]

I clean up nicer than you’d think.

Oh, that one's easy. Between you and me? It's because he's a man. We're babies when we're sick. Take good care of him. Ah, naaaah! Ditched it somewhere. Don't remember. It'll turn up eventually! Who says I think you don't clean up nice? Bet you dirty up nice too. Don't tell your lady I said that.

Edited 2023-08-28 02:02 (UTC)

Maybe he's playing it up now for his girlfriend - one of my exes used to do that.

Ah, too bad. I don't know if he’d use it for much but it feels like these might be important. Also if he had one maybe he could text people instead of backflipping when he's bored.

Hm. Maybe I want to see her get a little jealous.

Most likely. Don't blame him. Great way to get a little extra care, if you know what I mean. I'd say "if my wife were here I'd do the same" but you know I don't really have a wife. I'd like to see him do a backflip. Too bad these things don't have cameras. My old phone did. Battery's dead now though. Oh? If the detective weren't with me, I might take you up on that. Between you and me, I think he only flirts with me when he wants something. Is it pathetic that I fall for it every time? It's like, I know what he's trying to do. I've done it before! But my God, Chloe, he's so sexy I can't say no.

[ A few seconds later a panicked message: ]

Don't repeat that to anyone. Please. I am begging you.

[ The detective has to know. It's obvious. But he banks on Cohle's general lack of interest in interpersonal drama to assure his silence on the matter.

That, and the fact Cohle currently doesn't have access to his walkie. Those two things! ]

It took him shattering his leg and being so stoic about it for me to figure it out haha. Had a good thing going there for a bit.

GOD I miss my phone. The guy who took my gun still has it I think. Kickflipping off the walls was funny at first but he does it all the time.

Oh shit sorry, I thought YOU were playing HIM. RIP. But listen, it's cool with me, okay? I got into this business in the first place because people were weird about me; I don't out people.

Well not cool that it's a cop. You can do better.

BUT watch out, okay? If he knows he can play you, you're gonna get played. Depending on what kind of cop they're pros at this shit.

Who took your gun? Thanks. Guess I owe you. Weird about you? How so? Oh, trust me! I know I can. I'm so outside of this guy's league it's not fucking funny. He doesn't appreciate what he's got! You know I saved his idiot life? No gratitude! ZERO. None. Instead, he just sits there, making dumb judging faces. :P e_e <-- that's him Somebody kill me. He's definitely a pro. But it's like I don't know how to stop myself. I don't know what's happening to me here. Everything is so fucked up.

[ He spares a furtive glance at Rust, and then quickly back to the walkie, body angled so Rust can't see what he's typing. ]

I melt. Every time. Did you know once he brushed my arm? Asked about my tattoo. I'm still thinking about it days later. He's not even worth it.

It was before this. Moron named after a shark, obsessed with me for a dumbass reason. Jumped me and took a bunch of my shit.

My mum said “don't bother coming home” so I didn't. Fucked up but she never liked me that much anyway.

Trust me, they are NEVER happy that you saved them. My friends are like that too. Like come on are your stupid principles really more important than your life????

Listen. I do that shit all the time cause it works. [She’s not going to bring up Taissa’s fingers on her pulse and how long they'd lingered there, this is already plenty embarrassing] I get it, like being here where no one you know is watching, but you gotta be careful.

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