HA131A | Voice | Day 23

[clowngirl]

[Really? A walkie-talkie? Luckily for all involved, Harley knows exactly how these work thanks to years of overhearing police radios and watching a little movie called Smokey and the Bandit.]

Breaker! Breaker! Eggs and baker!

This is Burt Reynold's Moustache comin' in with a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and requestin' a 10-20 on myself. We got some sorta 10-15, 5150 situation goin' on with a negatory on 420-69. Is this a good kidnappin' or a bad kidnappin'? I repeat, good kidnap-slash-bad kidnap-question mark.

Smooches. Seacrest out! Over!

Comments

[clowngirl]

Pfft. He wishes!

I'll fight for the handle if somebody else's already taken it.

Over!

[ichoosefight]

[ Okay, so she's just... being weird. Alright. ]

Nobody really has handles. Or if they do, they haven't spoken up about it.

Anyway, as kidnappings go, I'd rate this 'not great'. We all just sort of woke up here. And there's not really a whole lot of 'here'.

[clowngirl]

Gotcha. One vote for "room for improvement" and "assign everyone handles".

How many folks are we talkin' 'bout here? If this is more than a single kidnapper/kidnappee situation, I'm kinda lookin' for somebody.

[ichoosefight]

Like... 20? It's been a pretty mixed bag, but who are you looking for?

[clowngirl]

Okay! So he's beautiful, like a former boyband member. But in a scruffy way, like his solo career hasn't worked out like he hoped. With sad eyes like the reason for this hypothetical catastrophe was that he lost his puppydog.

He also has a thousand abs and is my boyfriend.

[ichoosefight]

Um.

[ Yeah, that is also A Lot. ]

Does he have a name?

[clowngirl]

An initial, which is really as much as anybody needs in my experience. It's a K!

Does that narrow it down yet? You want his shoe size?

[ichoosefight]

[ ... ]

[ ...... ]

...Are you doing this on purpose?

[clowngirl]

Do what?

How have we not narrowed it down yet? Do they film The Bachelorette here?

[ichoosefight]

[ So it's either intentional or oblivious. Either way, probably not worth the trouble. ]

I don't think I've seen anyone boyband-worthy, sorry. Can I get your name? I'm Steph.

[clowngirl]

Bummer for both of us.

I'm Harley Quinn! Pleasedta meetcha. Your zany new handle will be assigned in 2-4 business days if we don't get outta here first.

[ichoosefight]

[ Oh. Oh no. This is... bad? Weird? Definitely weird. Not good, but Harley by herself isn't especially murderous as Steph recalls. She needs to say something before the silence becomes noticable. ]

Well, it's been twenty.... three days for me, so I wouldn't get your hopes up.

[clowngirl]

Okay, that's a li'l long for somebody who didn't pack her sunscreen. Boy, will my face be red.

I was hopin' to spend more time in Gotham before my next vacay, too.

[ichoosefight]

[ Damn, she mentioned Gotham specifically. Act surprised, Steph! ]

Wait, you're from Gotham? Like, 'Batman' Gotham? 'Superheroes aren't fictional' Gotham?

[ Maybe if she says it loud it enough everyone who's thought she was crazy or obsessed will listen, and then shut up. ]

[clowngirl]

Is there another kinda Gotham? Wait, don't answer that. If there's an alternate universe where Batman is a bus driver and I'm just his tax accountant, I don't even wanna know.

[ichoosefight]

God, I hope not.

[ One Gotham is enough for the multiverse. Unless the other Gothams are really nice... in which case, she'd probably be mad. So no, she doesn't wanna know either. ]

It's just that I haven't spoken to a single person here who has superheroes in their world. Apparently aliens are perfectly fine, but masked crime fighters are some kind of childish fantasy?

[clowngirl]

Didja tell 'em about the aliens who are superheroes?

[She doesn't know if that'd make it better or worse, but maybe it'd blow their minds.]

[ichoosefight]

That was the only reason I brought up superheroes at all. I think "public knowledge of intelligent life on other planets", I think Superman. Apparently it's the main difference between my world and everyone else's.

Heads up, people can be pretty rude about it.

[desperate_times_right]

Kind of rich coming from the kiddo who threatened to break my wrist in our first conversation~!

[ichoosefight]

I mentioned illegal underground fighting rings and you started planning my murder.

[clowngirl]

Okay, I dunno what this is but you ladies are fun!

[desperate_times_right]

Well! It's not an underground kitten petting ring, is it? Underground friendship bracelet braiding seminar.

[clowngirl]

Aw, that's sweet but I'm pretty usedta people thinkin' I'm nuttier than a squirrel farm.

[ichoosefight]

[ Right... that tracks. ]

Well, feel free to call them out on it, if only for my own vindication.

[clowngirl]

I'll tell everybody you're entirely sane. About this. If you want a full clean bill of mental health then I'm also willin' to give you a Gothamite discount on psycho-therapy.