HA131A | Voice | Day 23
[Really? A walkie-talkie? Luckily for all involved, Harley knows exactly how these work thanks to years of overhearing police radios and watching a little movie called Smokey and the Bandit.]
Breaker! Breaker! Eggs and baker!
This is Burt Reynold's Moustache comin' in with a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and requestin' a 10-20 on myself. We got some sorta 10-15, 5150 situation goin' on with a negatory on 420-69. Is this a good kidnappin' or a bad kidnappin'? I repeat, good kidnap-slash-bad kidnap-question mark.
Smooches. Seacrest out! Over!
Breaker! Breaker! Eggs and baker!
This is Burt Reynold's Moustache comin' in with a Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and requestin' a 10-20 on myself. We got some sorta 10-15, 5150 situation goin' on with a negatory on 420-69. Is this a good kidnappin' or a bad kidnappin'? I repeat, good kidnap-slash-bad kidnap-question mark.
Smooches. Seacrest out! Over!

Private
I'd like to see him do a backflip. Too bad these things don't have cameras. My old phone did. Battery's dead now though.
Oh? If the detective weren't with me, I might take you up on that. Between you and me, I think he only flirts with me when he wants something. Is it pathetic that I fall for it every time? It's like, I know what he's trying to do. I've done it before!
But my God, Chloe, he's so sexy I can't say no.
[ A few seconds later a panicked message: ]
Don't repeat that to anyone. Please. I am begging you.
[ The detective has to know. It's obvious. But he banks on Cohle's general lack of interest in interpersonal drama to assure his silence on the matter.
That, and the fact Cohle currently doesn't have access to his walkie. Those two things! ]
Re: Private
GOD I miss my phone. The guy who took my gun still has it I think. Kickflipping off the walls was funny at first but he does it all the time.
Oh shit sorry, I thought YOU were playing HIM. RIP. But listen, it's cool with me, okay? I got into this business in the first place because people were weird about me; I don't out people.
Well not cool that it's a cop. You can do better.
BUT watch out, okay? If he knows he can play you, you're gonna get played. Depending on what kind of cop they're pros at this shit.
Private
Thanks. Guess I owe you. Weird about you? How so?
Oh, trust me! I know I can. I'm so outside of this guy's league it's not fucking funny. He doesn't appreciate what he's got! You know I saved his idiot life? No gratitude! ZERO. None. Instead, he just sits there, making dumb judging faces. :P
e_e <-- that's him
Somebody kill me.
He's definitely a pro. But it's like I don't know how to stop myself. I don't know what's happening to me here. Everything is so fucked up.
[ He spares a furtive glance at Rust, and then quickly back to the walkie, body angled so Rust can't see what he's typing. ]
I melt. Every time. Did you know once he brushed my arm? Asked about my tattoo. I'm still thinking about it days later.
He's not even worth it.
Re: Private
My mum said “don't bother coming home” so I didn't. Fucked up but she never liked me that much anyway.
Trust me, they are NEVER happy that you saved them. My friends are like that too. Like come on are your stupid principles really more important than your life????
Listen. I do that shit all the time cause it works. [She’s not going to bring up Taissa’s fingers on her pulse and how long they'd lingered there, this is already plenty embarrassing] I get it, like being here where no one you know is watching, but you gotta be careful.
Private
Your mother??? I can't imagine my life without my family. Family is everything. Family... are supposed to be the ONLY people you can trust.
Or they're supposed to be, anyway!
Ugh. Principles. Stupid. He kept blah blah blah about finding Shaw's body, meanwhile the entire network is going off about this storm.
Don't I know it. You want to know the worst part? Sometimes I don't think I'd mind getting played too much. If it means I get to be near him. It's so stupid. I don't understand what is happening to me. Like what, do I think Mr. Principles and Biceps is going to wake up one day and say, hey, Ben, let's run away together? HA.
But the biceps are spectacular. You've seen them.
Re: Private
Never been like that for me. You've only got yourself.
Shaw’s fine anyway. You did the right thing. Especially considering what that storm dropped on you guys.
I did see them but it wasn't that good to me! You don't want the guy talking about cutting off your leg to have strong arms. >.<
I do get it like I dated a Principles Guy on and off for years! (and it WAS my ass that got me that one tyvm) But eventually they want to get married and shit - he went legit, has a mortgage and a kid. I would rather die.
Private
He's just tweaking out because Shaw died twice and she took longer to come back the second time. Kind of wondering if it takes longer and longer each time! Guess we'll find out eventually, eh? When more morons start killing themselves.
[ He considers, for a moment, telling her more about who he really is, his background, but... nah! No telling who reads this shit. Or if The Detective is going to sneak over and read it over his shoulder sometime.
Besides, she's basically putting all her red flags out there. Nice of her, but as much as Lalo likes Chloe, giving her sensitive information that could be used against him just seems dumb.
He moves on. ]
I don't think he could handle it. Dying and coming back. It'd push him over the edge. More over the edge. He's already dangling over the cliff. I could barely handle it, and I'm WAY more stable than he is. [ This is debatable and probably not true, depending on how you define "stable". But hey! Sanity is in the eye of the beholder, right? ...Right? ] Believe me.
He wouldn't have cut off your leg. Relax. Besides, I would've kicked his ass if he tried it. I can take him! Strong arms or not.
A mortgage? Wow. [ If they were in person, the smirk on his face or the very mild eyeroll might have given away what Lalo thinks about the very concept of a "mortgage". ]
Re: Private
Blah blah, you saw the way he walked away from us to talk with Taissa, he was thinking about it.
You can take him, huh? In a fight too?
It’s SO embarrassing like!!!! He pays income tax. There are office Christmas parties. This guy is one white picket fence away from hanging up a live laugh love sign.
Private
Or maybe I'm just special. Maybe I was Superman before I got here. Maybe not. You'll never know. Me, I wouldn't be broadcasting that shit if I had been more than human before this, if you ask me. Makes you think, doesn't it?
[ The comment about taking him makes Lalo flick a smile to himself. He's careful not to make any noise, to avoid tipping off Cohle. ]
Heyyyy, now! Shut up. Yeah, in a fight! Who says I didn't already, eh?
Ugh. Picket fences! How '90s.
[ He has a tall wooden fence with a gate around his casa, personally, for safety and looks. Well, for looks anyway. The safety features hadn't helped up as well as he'd hoped, but again, he's not going to tell her that in writing. ]
Re: Private
But if that's all true then why didn't you just kill me? You two did a lot of work to keep me alive. The others too. Well. I can see the nerd base crew being Principles Guys I guess.
If you did I think you'd be less fucked up about him, you know? Get it out of your system.
I don't know, I'm glad he's happy but I couldn't live like that. All those contracts. He got married for real so he had to get a government ID and everything.
Private
Oh. And because Officer Principles was tweaking out about Shaw. She'd been up there for a while, on a recon mission. I'm sure Cabin Homie was stalking her.
And why do you think? Because I was outvoted, missy! I mean, if it were up to me, I'd offer to shoot you but you think that would've flown with our companions? Nah!
Besides, it's like I said. Some people can handle dying and coming back, some can't. Me... I was one of the most emotionally stable guys you'd ever met before I came here. No kidding!
But dying and coming back, even for me... it's like, I'll be okay someday. It gets a little easier everyday, and I feel like I could go through it again and it'll be easier every time. I'd say "I'm not scared of dying anymore" but, eh, for me it's never been a concern! Still, nice to know I've got the option, you know? I can see it coming in handy!
Can't be sure somebody won't be broken by it, though. If it could be hard on me, it could be hard on ANYbody.
....or maybe I just didn't want to waste a bullet on you! ;) I've only got 6. Who knows!
You think he's gonna stay in that life? Not a lot of people change for good like that. Unless that was who he really was all along.
Re: Private
Well. You're a better person than me, I guess. I run into the guy who fucked me up like this? Only one of us is walking away from it. My knife can't run out of bullets.
[She has a shiv hidden on her person now too, but she's not putting that out there if their enemies can read this]
I swear, if we had known we were going on a trip like this, we could have packed better.
I don't know, but I think he’d better. I gave up a good thing to let those 2 have a crack at it. The normal life shit.
Also for the record, if it's really that easy? Kill me next time.
Private
What "good thing" did you give up? I can't tell if you even like this guy. Sounds to me like he gets on your nerves.
Kill you, eh? You're sure? I can do that.
Re: Private
Yeah, he could be annoying but this guy was a FREAK you could get him to do anything.
And I don't know. Sometimes he saw something when he looked at me and I wanted to see it too.
Look, I talked to TO when I first got hurt. She died after that and got better and I'm still hurt. I'm grateful to Taissa but if you're telling the truth if she’d left me for dead I’d be walking by now.
Private
But you'd be away from your lady. Eh? Who knows where in the island you'd wake up.
This way you get her to take care of you. Not a bad deal!
Re: Private
Private
Re: Private
It is, as long as I know she’ll be safe. I couldn't leave her alone with Squalo after he scared her.
Private
He scared Tai? Hard to picture her being scared of much. Seems like she's got nerves of steel.
Re: Private
You practically had to go to war to take a shit!
Private
[ Not that he's especially worried that Squalo will try to hurt Taissa. It sounds like he was trying to prevent people from getting hurt... in the most inefficiently Squalo way possible, of course.
And if this sounds unnecessarily altruistic for the island's other maniac who barely sleeps (non-axe-wielding variety, this time; or maybe not, considering he currently has Rust's axe in his possession)... well, as much as Lalo likes Chloe and enjoys talking to her simply for the pleasure of having somebody normal he can confide in, he also sees an opportunity when one drops into his lap. ]
There's something I'd like from you, though! If you're so inclined. I wouldn't try to force you, mostly because I don't think I could. [ For once: the truth, unadulterated. ] But I don't think you'll find it an imposition. ;)
Private
Let me know if you hear anybody shittalking the detective for me? So I can take care of THEM too. ♥
Private 2/2
Look! It's Sam!
Re: Private 2/2
Nice art btw. He is SO cute which is good because he can be pretty annoying. Him being a guy who talks isn't as off-putting as you'd think.
Private
Re: Private