text | day 008 | HE412T

[timaeus]

While I did anticipate finding myself in a brave new world upon stepping through that door, this isn't exactly what I was expecting.
Nor is this the company I was expecting to have.
I've been hearing a whole lot of strangers' voices coming out of this ancient piece of shit, and a notable lack of any familiar ones.
I also find myself somehow bereft of a number of items and abilities I should have had, many of which would have been pretty handy in what seems like a deserted island situation.
The rational question to ask here would be "what the fuck".
But just from eavesdropping on a few of y'all's conversations, it doesn't seem like anyone actually has the answer to that question.
So I'll skip the useless panic and confusion and whatnot and instead just ask:
Who was poking me and ran off before I fully woke up?
Fess up.

Comments

[salamanca]

How dare you. I am a green elephant.

[ichoosefight]

prove it

[salamanca]

That I'm green or that I'm an elephant? Jet can vouch for the first thing. Oof!

[ He's referencing, ofc, how sick and green around the gills he was when he and Jet met up in the foothills. ]

[ichoosefight]

all of the above

how do I know he isn't a purple emu?

[salamanca]

Shit, chica, you got us there! How'd you figure it out?

[ichoosefight]

it's always the emus, man. cant trust em

[salamanca]

Hey I will have you know my wife is an emu :'(

[ichoosefight]

then you need to look at your life choices.

[timaeus]

This is hardly the time to be sharing our fursonas.

[salamanca]

[ ?????? ]

What is a fursona?

[timaeus]

[Oh, boy. Never had to deal with boomers before. This truly is a strange new world.]

Do you really want to know?
I'm down to explain but this might turn into a whole fucking lecture on niche subcultures and I've got some footprints I could be tracking right now.

[salamanca]

Yes I want to know! [ Lalo hates not having information, of any kind. ] Footprints will still be there when you're done lecturing. :)

[timaeus]

[He can multitask. He types while cautiously beginning to look around.]

Furries are people who're interested in anthropomorphic animals, usually through the mediums of art or elaborate mascot-esque costumes called fursuits.
It's not always a sexual thing, but there's a strong enough association that furries are frequently the subject of derision by other corners of the internet.
Fursonas are their anthro animal personas.

[salamanca]

[ What the fuck? ]

Fursonas have sex with animals!??? What kind of sick shit are you into, man?

[timaeus]

How about you reread what I actually wrote and try again.

[salamanca]

I did. I'm sorry. I still don't understand it. How do you know about all of this? Are you sure you should be following tracks by yourself after all? I do not think you are well.

[timaeus]

And I don't think you're actually literate, so it's a damn good thing neither of us gives a shit what the other one thinks, huh?

[salamanca]

:( I do care what you think! I don't want you to think I'm illiterate. But I've never heard of any of this before. Why are you being so mean? I'm sorry I said you were sick just because you want to fuck animals. I didn't mean it. :(
I'm not trying to be unkind. I'm just very stupid. Ask anyone here.

[timaeus]

Do people actually fall for this shit?
Just making sure I didn't stumble ass backwards into a universe of gullible shitheads.
Wouldn't wanna make anyone else feel bad for being perfectly adequate by local standards.

[salamanca]

:( What shit do you mean?

May I ask you a personal question? Then I'll stop bothering you.

[ichoosefight]

when exactly is the right time for that???

[timaeus]

Third date, maybe?

[ichoosefight]

Makes sense. Pay for dinner, bring her back to your place, show her your fur suit...

[timaeus]

That probably warrants a conversation first.
Being plunged straight into fursuit territory might be a bit much.

[ichoosefight]

tbh it's kind of a dealbreaker for me from the start