voice; 001; morning; cw: language

[sharktrash]

[ SH442K | VOICE | 001 ]

Heeey! Anybody on this thing?! Hello?

[ There's a faint, static-y background noise; whoever is talking must be walking by the seashore, although his painfully loud voice drowns it out no problem. ]

Whose moronic idea of a joke is this, huh? You think you can just fuckin' kidnap me and-- what's the plan here, exactly? You gonna bore me to death with the shittiest cruise on il Mediterraneo?! At least have a goddamn drink stand, for fuck's sake -- who's in charge here? I wanna speak to your idiot manager, asshole, rapidamente, yeah I'm talking to you, the hell are you still playing this game for?! Just you fuckin' wait, I'm gonna find you and-- Oi, is this thing on? Hey! Hey--

[ The yelling will probably continue until someone deigns to respond. ]

Comments

[sharktrash]

The fuck you are. Do you usually just shout random dishes at people to communicate?! No wonder this place is so shit.

[ Does he... does he think he's talking to the manager? ]

[trialbyliar]

[ ultimate supreme manager ]

Well, duh! How else am I supposed to tell my minions what kind of meal they should fetch me?

[sharktrash]

[ well, it's only appropriate that the ultimate supreme manager duels the ultimate supreme karen, isn't it ]

Why don't you tell your minions to get me the fuck out of here? It'll be better for both of us, trust me.

[trialbyliar]

Not with an attitude like that. Don't you know you should be polite when asking people for favors? C'mon, say "pretty please".

[It's probably a good thing this guy is nowhere nearby. He's not in the mood to get punched right now.]

[sharktrash]

LIKE HELL I WILL!!

[ Yep. Punching is definitely pending. ]

[trialbyliar]

Jeez, what're you yelling for...? What a jerk. Now I'm definitely not giving you a ride when I get out of here.

[He suddenly sounds so wounded. Just an innocent victim getting screamed at for no reason at all, gosh.]

[sharktrash]

I'm a jerk?! What in-- who the fuck are you?!

[ Sorry, he'll never stop screaming. It's just how his voice sounds like. ]

[trialbyliar]

[A bit of sniffling comes through the walkie-talkie – just a little exaggerated so he can be sure it's audible through the static.]

Is that how you greet new people? Y-you're so mean...! Now I don't even wanna introduce myself!

[sharktrash]

[ What in the FUCK. ]

Heeeey, what the hell?! Answer the goddamn question!

[ He's great with children! :) ]

[trialbyliar]

Nuh-uh! I'm not telling you!

[He sure does sound like a child, as opposed to "probably 16-ish".]

[sharktrash]

Either you explain what the hell you did now, or I'll make sure we get to chat face to face as soon as possible and you're not going to enjoy it.

[trialbyliar]

[Instantly, the waver and sniffle in his voice vanishes like it was never there at all.]

Huh? What I did? What's that supposed to mean?

[sharktrash]

Bringing me here.

[ Get with the program, manager! ]

[trialbyliar]

Ohhhh. Yeah, sorry about that! My bad, I didn't think you'd be this annoying. Really terrible kidnapping judgement on my part!

[He sounds far too nonchalant for someone claiming to be the mastermind behind this mess, so it's probably no surprise that he follows that after a pause for reaction:]

But I'm lying. I didn't do shit.

[sharktrash]

[ That might have been his plan all along! Annoy his kidnappers until they beg him to leave! Wait a second. ]

So which one is it?! Make up your damn mind!!

[trialbyliar]

[A scoffing sound.]

I just said I was lying, didn't I? I don't know what's going on here any more than you do. Unless maybe you're secretly behind this and just playing dumb...?

[sharktrash]

Sure. Who's to say you're not lying now?

[trialbyliar]

That is a possibility! But I'm not. How do I know you're not lying?

[sharktrash]

Am I supposed to just take your word for it? And you don't.

[ Except, he doesn't do that. Anyone who actually knows him, knows this. His team makes fun of him for being shit at hiding things. ]

[trialbyliar]

Duh! You should totally trust me. I'm a really trustworthy guy, y'know?

[ bruh ]

[sharktrash]

Uh-huh.

[ he's having some doubts there bruv ]