TO994M | day 4 | morning | audio

[cactusy]

[There's the sound of footsteps on sand; she's walking as she talks, heading away from the beach and up towards the scrubby jungle.]

So I got got by what I think was a crossbow bolt. Kinda hard to tell for sure; it all came at me pretty fast. Got an arrow to the leg not long before that, but the one that came for my head seemed bigger in the point-two seconds of reaction time I had before it hit. And it did hit. Should've been difficult-to-impossible to survive, but here I am. Which tells me some things.

[She relays the news of her almost-certain death matter-of-factly, in the same flat-ish tone as her previous radio contributions. If anything, she sounds a little more upbeat here: it's not by much, but having (what she thinks are) answers is a relief. At least now she (thinks she!!) knows what she's dealing with.]

Look, guys; this isn't real. Fifty-fifty odds whether you're a part of it or not - maybe you're all artificial constructs and I'm the only real sentient person here, or maybe we're all hooked up to machines in a lab and we've been tossed into this simulated... thing together. Gonna be nice and assume the latter, for now. Point is, signs have been pointing to this for a while, and this proves it. But this is good news, kind of. It means that whatever happens here doesn't really matter. We die, we screw up, we do something our monitor overlord doesn't like - we just reset. I fired off three bullets, and they're back now, because the gun and the bullets are just lines of computer code that can be rewritten in whatever way the people running this want.

Priority number one shouldn't be escaping the island or long-term survival or whatever. It should be figuring out how to get out of the simulation. Then the party can really get started.

Comments

BT612L; voice

[ichoosefight]

Um. Not to be a part of the Matrix or anything, but I think your perspective here is completely backwards.

[cactusy]

This isn't my first rodeo, I've been doing this for a while.

[ichoosefight]

Then I think you might've forgotten something important: Dying hurts. Pain is bad.

You remember what happened, right? That makes it real. That means it matters. It doesn't matter if it's just numbers on a screen somewhere. It happened, and you have that experience, and that's not nothing.

[cactusy]

Sure it was. Just one in over seven thousand.

[But.]

It did hurt; I won't lie to you. Can't blame you for not wanting to go through that yourself, no matter how fake. If I ever run into you in person, I'll protect you.

[ichoosefight]

I don't--! [ She stops herself from yelling it. ] need your protection. I need you not to encourage people to get themselves killed when you aren't sure what's happening.

And you aren't. There are a thousand different explanations.

[cactusy]

Are there?

[ichoosefight]

Yes.

Maybe we're clones! That's seven thousand people that didn't have to die. Maybe there's a limit, and death eight thousand is permanent. Maybe it's magic. Last year a bunch of living superheroes turned into evil zombies. Stuff happens!

[cactusy]

There's no such thing as superheroes or zombies.

[ichoosefight]

Yes there is. But more importantly, there's no such thing as a computer simulation designed exclusively to torture you that tries to convince you it's real using information it could see wouldn't work by checking your Facebook page.

[cactusy]

Oh, are we playing this game? Yes there is.

[ichoosefight]

Okay, clearly you're going through something right now, and I'm sorry, but that's not my top priority. So I'm going to put that aside and make one thing very clear:

I don't care if this is a simulation. I don't care if I'm not real. I don't care if you're not real. I don't care if they aren't real.

I don't like when people suffer.

Starving to death? That's suffering. So what I need from you right now is to not tell people to try killing themselves because you're having a mental breakdown.

If someone dies because you told them it didn't matter? I call that murder. I don't care if they wake up the next morning feeling better than ever. And I will hold you accountable. Okay?

[cactusy]

[... Huh, would you listen to that. It's the exact type of thing someone would - should - say if this were real.

Which it isn't, of course, but still, she has to admire both the sentiment and the balls.]

You got a name?

[Congratulations on being the first person she's actually bothered to ask, Steph.]

[ichoosefight]

[ Okay that's a slightly better direction but it doesn't actually acknowledge her point here. ]

Stephanie. Stephanie Brown.

[cactusy]

Sameen Shaw. You got a good head on your shoulders. The sentiment's misapplied here, but in any other situation--

[ichoosefight]

That's a backhanded compliment, but I'll take it.

So? No more reckless endangerment? Or do I have to cross this jungle and put you in a headlock.

[cactusy]

I'm not wrong.

text | callsign: DI481O

[salamanca]

Thank you for trying to talk some sense into her. At least somebody around here is sane.

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[ichoosefight]

THANK YOU.

You get my point here right? That even if she's right that's a terrible plan?

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[salamanca]

I do, yes. There's no reason to encourage any more death or suffering. Trauma is trauma. "Real" or not. We should be taking care of each other.

You know. Helping each other not die. Right?

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[cactusy]

Okay, seriously? No one's encouraging death and suffering here. If you think what I'm saying here is "everybody kill yourselves", you've missed the point.

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[salamanca]

Then, please, Miss Shaw, what were you trying to say? I'm listening, if you're willing to explain a second time.

I respect you, and hey, I don't want to start an argument here. But you gotta admit, it's kinda hard not to have concerns about some of what you're saying. If you think I'm missing the point, don't you think somebody else could "miss the point" too and decide to harm themselves?

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[cactusy]

Friendly little reminder to anyone who's thinking about harming themselves because of the news that this isn't real: if you die here, they're capable of just throwing you back into the simulation. No vacation back to the real world, no time to regroup, no nothing. I'm maintaining that death not being permanent is a good thing, but it's not an escape.

How's that?

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[ichoosefight]

You would think someone who died over 9000 times would recognize that it messes you up.

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[salamanca]

Sometimes something becoming normalized for someone is how it messes them up. Fish don't know they're swimming in water when it's all around them.

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[ichoosefight]

[ ...Wait, does that make sense? ]

I don't think fish know anything