TO994M | day 29 | morning | text | filtered from DI481O

[cactusy]

[What's up, good citizens; it's the injured lady who stole away from your base a few days ago, here to pass on some intel!]

Resets after dying are all screwy. Injuries can carry over. Objects may or may not disappear and may or may not reset to arrival condition. There's no pattern with any of it, as far as I can tell. Keep it in mind.

Comments

Private to Shaw

[cactusy]

Sure, whatever. I'm going to tell you what I told BT6, though. Worry less.

Private to Shaw

[somethingintangible]

im not worried. i just think it makes sense to have somebody u can check in with.

Private to Shaw

[cactusy]

You are so obviously worried, and I'm the wrong person to worry about.

Private to Shaw

[somethingintangible]

[ Maddy could continue denying it, but why bother? She's a lot more transparent than she realized, apparently. ]

u said u didn't think emotional needs are for losers. right? then prove it. maybe checking in with me is something u do for me and not for u.

also bitch do i need to remind u that u left by urself without telling anybody after u couldn't even fucking move for 3 whole days. i'd worry about ANYBODY who did that. u aren't fucking special so calm the fuck down.

Private to Shaw

[cactusy]

Good.

[Genuinely, unequivocally good. She is, she knows, a black hole for other people's emotions, never able to give back what people put into her, and she knows that most people who try to care about her will end up hurt by that eventually. No kid like Maddy needs to deal with that. No kid like Steph does, either, even if Steph reads as so much older and more experienced.

And yet. Maybe checking in with me is something you do for me and not for you.

She isn't capable of much, but she knows she's at least capable of that.]

I'll tell you when I find him.

Private to Shaw

[somethingintangible]

[ Maddy feels a woosh of relief. It's not much, but realistically, it's all she can really do or ask for right now. She's not going anywhere near the cabin if she can help it, and anyway, she needs to focus on learning to scout right now. She has her own shit to worry about.

Maybe if Shaw had told someone where she was going, somebody could have gone with her or gone to get the detective instead of her, but it's too late for any of that now. That Shaw doesn't feel the same types of emotions she does isn't a concern; everyone is different, where that's concerned, and most people don't feel as deeply as Maddy does. Trying to force her to feel things she doesn't feel seems pointless and kind of mean.

Trying to get her to just not be stupid in her actions* is something else entirely. ]

thanks. <3 that's all im asking. take care, ok? talk later.

*This public service announcement brought to you by someone who almost died the night before doing something extremely stupid for no reason. She owes you, Randvi.