voice; 001; morning; cw: language

[sharktrash]

[ SH442K | VOICE | 001 ]

Heeey! Anybody on this thing?! Hello?

[ There's a faint, static-y background noise; whoever is talking must be walking by the seashore, although his painfully loud voice drowns it out no problem. ]

Whose moronic idea of a joke is this, huh? You think you can just fuckin' kidnap me and-- what's the plan here, exactly? You gonna bore me to death with the shittiest cruise on il Mediterraneo?! At least have a goddamn drink stand, for fuck's sake -- who's in charge here? I wanna speak to your idiot manager, asshole, rapidamente, yeah I'm talking to you, the hell are you still playing this game for?! Just you fuckin' wait, I'm gonna find you and-- Oi, is this thing on? Hey! Hey--

[ The yelling will probably continue until someone deigns to respond. ]

Comments

[cactusy]

[Clearly said through gritted teeth:]

Are you injured in any way.

[sharktrash]

[ There's another pause, but this time he does sound a little calmer. Still rattling away a hundred words per minute, though. ]

No, not that I noticed. Could've been drugged, though. Shit, I can't believe-- wait. [ He actually stops in his tracks as the realization dawns on him. ] I was... I'm supposed to be injured. But I'm not. The fuck? Is this your doing?

[cactusy]

No. What do you mean, you're supposed to be injured?

[sharktrash]

[ Well. She seems to be a straight to the point kind of person, so... ]

...Last thing I remember was dying.

[cactusy]

Then you probably didn't really die.

[This is said with a definite note of dryness. Imagine how surprised she'll be when she learns about the resurrection mechanics here! Egg on her face.]

What kind of injuries are we talking?

[sharktrash]

Yeah? Thinking I should get a second opinion.

[ He also sounds sarcastic. Where he's from, death is permanent, too, so they're in agreement there. ]

Weird zombie guy punched his way through my ribcage.

[ So like, huge gaping hole where his heart should have been kind of an injury. Not exactly something you just walk off. ]

[cactusy]

[Well, that is clearly an exaggeration on multiple levels, which is annoying. She is mentally filing this away as Some guy I don't like socked me hard enough in the stomach to knock the wind out of me, and I'm being really dramatic about it. Not doctor-worthy.]

Cool. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you probably don't have much in the way of survival supplies on you.

[sharktrash]

[ It's not even an exaggeration, he's playing it down big time! What has he ever done to earn this level of distrust, Shaw? ]

Nope. Wasn't exactly plannin' for a trip to bumfuck nowhere, Tropicana. 'Nd I'm missing stuff I did have on me, too.

[cactusy]

What kind of stuff?

[sharktrash]

[ Can she use this information against him? Well, not really, he supposes. ]

My sword.

[cactusy]

Huh. I still have my gun on me.

[Too bad it's waterlogged to hell and back.]

Pretty shitty oversight for some kidnappers.

[sharktrash]

Can't be professionals. Then again it's not like they're in range for you to shoot them.

[ But also, this is totally not fair. ]

[cactusy]

Amateurs would have had a tough time grabbing me.

[sharktrash]

Sure. You were grabbed by professionals that totally missed you have a gun on you.

[ You're not special, lady!! ]

[cactusy]

Amateurs would also have had a tough time setting all this up. Me having my gun doesn't make sense, but some nobody asshole organizing this is pretty close to logistically impossible.

[sharktrash]

Great. We can agree that none of this makes sense, then.

[ Unless -- ]

Maybe that's the point. Maybe some asshole's doing a shitty Hunger Games knockoff.

[cactusy]

[Deadpan:]

Do you volunteer as tribute.

[sharktrash]

[ oh ffs. ]

Maybe I would have if anybody asked.

[ yeah he'd totally be a career tribute sorry. no need to advertise that though. ]